Start

Start with:
Start to regret
Start to forget
Start to let go
Start to go on
And start to not ego.

Breakout.

To every mind there's a limit.
And for the heart just to ignore it.
Pass a smile today and you shall receive.
A bigger brighter moment than the past has give.

Cause yesterday is yesterday
And for tomorrow there's years to come to be filled with love and joy.
Ask no mercy upon regret.

No one to blame
What a fool
Such a shame
So lame

Yet.

Who cares it's not a matter of time.

Start.

Starting now.

Solitude

It is not about what happened and how things are now. I believe that I have found myself living a world full of insecurities and low esteem. Afraid of what people would think, afraid of being compared. And it's all in the mind. I may have over value myself and mostly under value. Rain has started and yoga didn't help the calm. But yet for sure. This is it. The main problem that led me to what I did for the past years but yet leaving me with good real friends and a conclusion that the past years has been about self acceptance and being true to myself. What I am and what I'm not. What I like and it doesn't matter what you don't like. It is the root of every little thing I felt before the "excuse problem" came along. This is what I've been trying to figure out when I told you I need some space. To figure out what I want, and what's wrong with me. And after years of every ups and down. Every laugh and tears. Every hello and goodbyes. Everything that happened brings me tonight to this conclusion that LOUDLY i'll say : I am insecure and I have low self esteem. Look at the girl who's being her and somehow maybe in the past some try to change her. I don't change but I'm growing. Hopefully sooner or later. Probably now. Convincing myself. I am "this". I am "that". I am not "them". I am not "you". I am "ME". I remember it was on 6th floor at my school the moment about feeling really awkward and I knew something is wrong (with me). Sadly we just cannot pleased everyone. Emotionally unstabble? is that a word or a definition of who I was. Emotionally unhappy. Yep. I used to be very ungrateful. No direction. And after years, the answer is myself. Hopefully this close every bad things bad timing bad thoughts. I am very pleased to meet you - dearest deepest side of me. I want to know you better and to treat you right this time. To love you more is to take care of every thoughts, body and act. To be blessed that I found you. And hopefully this will bring us to a growing young adult. 2 weeks notice to 24. And to close all of the sadness and welcoming the new era with joy and hope. That I am here to make a difference. For better or worst. I am here for a reason. And no one else have a task like mine.

Sincerely,
Your own heart

Confusius Confussion

I can't stop listening to this song. I can say that the current feelings while listening to this song now is just like a little smile in the heart with no object. no person. But about that feelings that we all once had and already gone that even u can't feel that anymore but u know in your memories u once felt that. I think it is a very light and cheer up song in a slightest way or just a tiny bitsy happiness on the music arrangement. LOveLOVELOVE.love it :)

"Tulus - Sewindu Lirik

Sudah sewindu ku di dekatmu
ada di setiap pagi, di sepanjang hari
tak mungkin bila engkau tak tahu
bila ku menyimpan rasa yang ku benam sejak lama

setiap pagi ku menunggu di depan pintu
siapkan senyum terbaikku agar cerah harimu
cukup bagiku melihatmu tersenyum manis
di setiap pagimu, siangmu, malammu

sesaat dia datang pesona bagai pangeran
dan beri kau harapan bualan cinta di masa depan
dan kau lupakan aku semua usahaku
semua pagi kita, semua malam kita

oh tak akan lagi ku menemuimu di depan pintu
dan tak ada lagi tutur manis ku merayumu

setiap pagi ku menunggu di depan pintu
siapkan senyum terbaikku agar cerah harimu
cukup bagiku melihatmu tersenyum manis
di setiap pagimu, siangmu, malammu

sesaat dia datang pesona bagai pangeran
dan beri kau harapan bualan cinta di masa depan
dan kau lupakan aku semua usahaku
semua pagi kita, semua malam kita

oh tak akan lagi ku menemuimu di depan pintu
dan tak ada lagi tutur manis ku merayumu
oh tak akan lagi ku menemuimu di depan pintu
dan tak ada lagi tutur manis ku merayumu

jujur memang sakit di hati
bila kini nyatanya kau memilih dia
takkan lagi ku sebodoh ini
larut di dalam angan-angan tanpa tujuan

oh tak akan lagi ku menemuimu di depan pintu
dan tak ada lagi tutur manis ku merayumu
oh tak akan lagi ku menemuimu di depan pintu
dan tak ada lagi tutur manis ku merayumu"

Link to his video --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpst_4m_c-E"

You , me , against the world.
later on.
Sewindu. :)
individually must go on. Life is too precious.

The Answer

Y : "Why do you wanna be with me?"

X : "Cause I need u."

Y : "No." (showing a disagreement by shaking his head)

X : (confused) --Is it wrong?---" Why do you wanna be with me?"

Y : "I stay with you because I love you, not because I need you."

3 words: Same subject and object (I and U),yet that word in between can be really manipulative to anybody who said it or meant it.
By the time, the word 'need' was meant to be 'love'. But sometimes, a word can be meaning with just what the basic meaning of that word itself and people just don't use metaphor or they don't want more explanation about the word.
What's inside doesn't matter. What's spoken cannot be taken.

It was not meant to be anyway.

There's someone who was eager to explain this answer and hoping that it will change my wrong perspective. And when that happened I remember this conversation had happen years ago. It's been a while but then :
"now I get it :)"

post graduate syndrome

Just finish my school. So long architecture school.
Don't know what to do. So....
Lets make a random list of what to do. random thoughts!try writing down just any thoughts that passed by

1. I want to let my hair grow and learn how to make braid. might need 'em someday
2. I want to have my shoes project and create them with my touch of style
3. Can I go somewhere far for holiday mom? :D
4. I wanna go to Bali
5. I want to clean up my room (I guess I really need this one to be done A S A P)
6. I don't wanna be an architect. not just yet.
7. Play saxophone? maybe
8. Enough with boys its girls time :P
9. Don't go clubbing
10. Work out!
11. Diet!
12. Eat lots of cotton candy and gummy bears please
13. Fashion trip somewhere
14. Sleep tight
15. Watch tons of dvds
16. Hangout with besties
17. Start your business
18. Dress up!
19. Go to superb concert
20. Might go back and play music
21. Hand crafting
22. OMG i love nagasari(Indonesian cake)
23. Organize computer files!
24.

Ziggy

"Ziggy, Il s'appele Ziggy, Je suis folle de lui."


I kept listening to that song.
The song was sung by Celine Dion my favorite singer ever.
I love it because it was in French.

"Mais moi je l'aime, c'est pas d'ma faute"

I love him, but it's not my fault.

Back to love. Another years to figure out.

"Ziggy, Il s'appele Ziggy, Je suis folle de lui"

"De parler a quelqu'un"

I'm done. Playing games. Now, tell me Ziggy. What do you got for me?

One day I just want to have a perfect family, perfect life, perfect house, perfect dress, perfect makeup, just simple as perfect (?).

"c'est pas d'ma faute"

It's not my fault.

Past is the past. present is the present. Future is the future.

Hopefully now (present) will bring lovely suprises in the future when i open my "present"

Last saturday in the big city

I am so happy that I got to help my friend Tulus for this gig on Pameran nasional Arsitek Muda in salihara.
We played 4 songs :
1. Waiting in vain - Bob marley
2. Inside and out - Feist
3. Gatekeeper - Feist
4. Bad Romance - Lady Gaga (the last which is my fave! )
-all in acoustic version

And so we arrived in the big city and wait..wait..waited for some time but I always love salihara so the waiting doesn't seem really hard for me.

Oh, have I told you that I play the saxophone?
Anyway, this event was for architects, so I can meet my friends who came there, gosh I miss them so much. <3<3<3 ^^

This holiday I work at this Architecture firm "GAEA" and it was really fun! I got to meet new people and in the Exhibition (this Architecture exhibition) they also exhibit one of the works. COOL! I got to learn things and meet new *again..new people.
The firm only accept womens, which I thought is really nice and rare.
Back to the topic, uhm...yeah. So! I am really happy that I met other fellas from the music world or random friends I met this week.

LOVE THE JAMMIN AND ALWAYS IN LOVE WITH MUSIC STUFF.
Tulus's voice and also Dian's is really nice. I love listening to their voice while singing only! (nah..just kidding) LOL
anyway, I'll upload the video as soon I got the performance video.

HASTA LA VISTA. C YA AROUND. =)

photo courtesy: Lukman Hakim
Anastasia Widyaningsih

SUPER RANDOM DAY !!!!

Yesterday I was going to write about my random day but then i fell asleep. LOL
So I decided to write it down today.

The day was started with me going from my home town to my college city (LOL) to go to work. My friend Saski pick me up in and then we got sushi for lunch. She accompany me to the office and there's nothing to do. All off my co-workers are going home while me saski planned to go and watch dvd or going to a salon. Damn! we are so out of clue, what to do next. And there it is, a message that made our day more random, a text message asking me to join a fashion show. It was from my friend Metia who is a young fashion desainer from my University.

I ask, "Sas, do u want to do a fashion show?". And she replied,"What?". But then after several random talks. "Since" we got nothing else to do, we decided to go and just do that fashion show. Anyway I'm always in love with their masterpiece (the designers from my University).

There we are, still confused. Listening to the mentor and meeting other models.The next thing we know we already covered by makeup (the makeup artist was super awesome!), I don't have any heels so I wore metia's and guest what: part of the shoes fell off while I was walking on the catwalk".

The catwalk itself was having this keroncong music as a backsound for the fashion show. DAMN! what a super honey random day.

ow! n PS: I bought this lovely cool wedges from one of the designers there. :P I can't help it. so it became my second shoes that I bought for this week. hh....I better stop this addictive thing. LOL. cheers!

photo courtesy : alamanda arsidia wulandari
my blackberry mobile uploads
metia's

my friend's sister's wedding

I went to ariana's sister wedding. I'm so happy to see her again....
anyway I just put on some old clothes.
5 minutes makeup won't do any harm =D

random days sunny sunday

LOL.
nothing to do.
just learn how to play guitar. =P
sorry :P this is just for fun,maybe one day i will look back n laugh about this video but.,,who cares! =D

let's fall in love even when it started as strangers in the night

A night off jazz
two strangers
started with exchanging glances
one drink in the night
What were the chances?

A start for a life
A start of love
As the past has just an inch aside become miles away
Something of nothing told me I must stand with you

Little that we know,
as lovers at first sight,
It turns out so right

in love forever?

.

forgive it
forgive me
forgive us

i did it right. so it hurts.
stay.

Pursuit of Happiness

It comes to the mind that
When u love someone you want to give the world that person you love

But when we lost our track of the idea of ourselves
Then
What are we?
Who am I?

When you drowned into a wrong perspective of mind
That wrong mind set might lead you to something that is not good for yourself
You think that sacrifice is something that is had to be done in love
But what kind of sacrifice is it?

It occurs to me that
In life, to have a great love
We have to give out the most of ourself
For the love of our lover or the love for us itself as an individual

The more you love doing what you do and who you are
Then you are ready to share that love to that person you love the most
I once got in love with that person I love the most
But I forgot to love myself or maybe I'm to in love with myself
Never to have those kind of feelings

You want to be better, to give him/her the better life or love
You want to be more passionate, to give love more passion and also to be passionate about our life and lover's life
I want to be good at everything, I want to be the best, So that my children will have the best life no one can imagine about
I feel good about myself so no one can let me down

I want to go on now,I want to concuer the world !
Because I want to show the world to my lover and my children and some stranger that might have a better life because of me
I want to help others because I want my lover and children and other people to do the same and share the love to the people in the world

Will I do it? YES.

What I want?
I want to share more love love love
Because I love you and I love the people that will come in our life ..

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND SO MUCH HAPPY VALENCIA DAY!

So i got this present from my boyfriend in US.And currently i live in Asia, so yes, were gonna see each other sometime but maybe a little wait will worth the passion :P
He give me like papers that is sort of a puzzle n i can flip it until it became a symbol of saxophone and bass,
because im a saxophonist and he is a bassist.
so yes our love is kinda growing one to another also thanks for the music life ^^

Then I made a video out of his gift as a thank u.

this is my video.anyway,it;s just for fun, but i love his idea to give me this kind of present.
anyway the doll in the pictures he sent me was Minky, it is a doll of lilo and stich but i never watch the movie when this doll play its part LOL
I just re-arrange the words in the puzzle and send this video and also make something stupid act in it.LOL
WISH I COULD SEE HIM SOON. LOVE HIM LOVE HIM LOVE HIM <3<3<3<3<3
WISH ME LUCK IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
But anyway, thank u my darling liooooooooo

i love u and happy valentine!
-veyo

valentine project

HAPPY VALENTINE,
i made a replica of a laptop and i hope u guys enjoy it

this is for my boyfriend who lives in US and currently we are in a long distance relationship.

hope u like it leo! love u!
HAPPY VALENTINE MY DEAREST LEO B :) <3<3<3<3<3

lights of the heart

As in the sky to me your are death
Leaves me nothing but regret
The death of love throw us apart
In silence phantom play his part
A lovely candle by the shape of heart
Which ones had never lit again
Just shine after a new romance
That never was interrupted in the phase of life

Thou shall not back from the years apart
No better coming from any perspective of life now
You shall die dear the light of the heart
No more room left inside but only sorrow
And up for the, I let the lights go down

As we walk , our second life
Will be full of remembrance and sweetness
And when the sun rise, there’s no need to look back at the winter that’s left behind
Cause somehow the spring has open its chance
No more sorrow ,no secret
But a life without any regret

HOLIDAY IN HAWAII!

i love hawaii!
And so i went to Hawaii but only for 4 days,but it was fun, they said my hawaiian name is Kiliki.haha
cute though. And i haven't got the chance to see the whole island but,yeah i had lots of fun. These is some of my videos about the food and stuff. Hope it will give you some information about Hawaii. my mom help me shot some of this video so this video is definitely for her! :)

song: zee avi - kantoi
zee avi- honey bee




P.s. : sorry in the video, the pani hills was suppossed to be "PALI look out" thank you! :)

confused dazed and a heart attack

today i have an extra mix feelings of not wanting to be hurt but starting to feel the start of that well becoming love.well i dont wanna call it love yet but i think my heart just stop beating at the end of that date and i cant breathe normally as something just happen u know when u got butterflies on your stomach but this is a feeling under your chest.i cant say wether it's good or not but it doesnt hurt though. i hope something good will happen from here.^^ <3<3<3
take me to paris one day and i'll have a more perfect date <3

i heart my new soprano saxophone

finally my deary has arrived. thanks to mum,dad n mr.leo who make all this happened. <3<3<3

IM TOO EXCITED THAT IT'S HARD TO GET SOME SLEEP
HAHA!

costume party! DC :PROFESSION

our architecture campus nite! :) <3
me myself dress up as a starbucks barista and d others well..: teacher,hooker,haha, japanese school boy, pilot,security guard,ballet dancer,geisha,fisher, pantomim,nanny,doctor,police,nurse,fortuneteller,chef,waiter,builder etc.NICE PARTY BTW! <3